Have you heard the saying: “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new”?

In relationships, it’s important to continually learn about one another as you each experience new things in life. 

One of the best ways to do this is through active listening. 

Unlike passive listening, active listening is two-way communication that helps you understand the other person’s perspective and respond with care. 

This benefits of active listening in your relationships:

• Resolves conflict 
• Builds trust
• Enhances knowledge of each other
• Validates emotions 

We have a saying at ACCS: “talk about things when they are small, before they get big”. This helps us quickly correct, troubleshoot and gain so much insight into what each other needs and wants when it comes to our relationships. 

Active listening helps you identify what is needed in that moment. It allows both you and your partner to be fully heard and understood. This requires some practice. Active listening does not come naturally to most people. So, we’ve put together a list of practical steps to help you today.

1. Attitude check – listen with an open intent to understand 
2. Be attentive – pause any task you may be doing, make eye contact and give your full attention to your partner while he/she is sharing 
3. Paraphrase – repeat back to them what you are hearing them say to ensure you understand it how they mean it. If you are off, ask clarifying questions 
4. Ask what they need from you at this moment – questions like “Do you need me to just listen?” or  “Do you want to come up with a solution together right now?” or “Do you need some time alone?”
5. Take action – follow through with what is needed 

Give yourself some time to apply these tips knowing practice makes perfect. The goal of active listening is a continuous improved relationship… which means it’s a process. 

What are some of YOUR favorite ways to practice active listening? Share it with us in the comments!